Beyond Butterflies: Redefining True Love
Love is often defined by the flutter we feel deep inside—
that rush of warmth, that tingle that dances through our bodies.
The greater the flutter, the greater the love…
or so I thought.
But what if that flutter is just that—flutter?
Or maybe even fluff—
beautiful, fleeting, like a puff of clouds that looks divine for a moment,
then quietly disappears.
For a long time, I believed love was measured by my feelings of fluff.
The more I felt, the deeper I thought I loved.
But time has a way of testing feelings—
and when the fluff faded, I started to wonder…
Had I ever truly loved at all?
So then came the real question:
What is true love?
True love exists beyond the butterflies.
Butterflies are simply our natural radar—
a signal of attraction and interest.
There’s nothing wrong with them.
But love—real love—goes so much deeper.
True love isn’t about feelings.
Because feelings? They come and go.
They rise and fall with the weather of our hearts.
True love is a choice.
A choice to stay.
A choice to care.
A choice to keep showing up.
A choice to fight for what matters,
and to keep fighting—even when it hurts.
True love means that even when someone gets under your skin,
hurts your heart,
or even betrays your trust…
you choose to care anyway.
Because love has layers—
rich, complex, and beautifully woven.
Layers we’ll explore together.
Stay with me.
There is power and hope hidden in the cords of love—
a power that can transform your life from the inside out.
With love,
Candy
Blog # 2
Life is Too Short
By Candace Beckford
“Life is too short to start your day with broken pieces of yesterday. It will definitely destroy your wonderful today and ruin your great tomorrow.”
— Author Unknown
Have you ever found yourself so caught up with doing this thing called life that you forget to actually live?
Life is too short!
Has something upset you so deeply that it ruined your whole day—then the next, and maybe even the day after that?
Life is too short!
Have you given someone so much control over your emotions that everything they do affects you negatively?
Life is too short!
My friends, we only get one life to live—so let’s live it well. This past week taught me some valuable lessons, and I’d like to share them with you.
1. Take a Moment to Stop and Smell the Roses
Growing up, I wasn’t the type to hang out or socialize beyond my regular routine. I did what I had to do—school, extracurricular activities, church events—and then went home.
Even as an adult, not much has changed. I work hard, check things off my to-do list, and keep it moving. But last weekend, something different happened. There was an event happening at work and even
though my first instinct was to stay home and be “productive,” I let my friends talk me into going.
And guess what?
I HAD AN AWESOME TIME! 🎉
I ate good food, laughed, danced, talked with my friends, and lived. I didn’t realize how much I’d been missing out on fun!
Yes, we all have responsibilities. But we also need to make time for joy. Do something spontaneous. Step outside your comfort zone. Live a little!
One of my friends once said, “When I’m old and gray, sitting in my rocking chair reminiscing, I never want to say ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda.’ I want to know that I lived.”
That stuck with me. I don’t want to be the old lady wishing she’d laughed more, traveled more, or danced more. Life is short—so enjoy it while you can.
2. Don’t Give People Power Over You
This week, I faced a situation that deeply hurt me. I mean really hurt me—tears, anger, the works. It started with a simple misunderstanding: a friend thought I ignored her text (I didn’t), made wrong assumptions, and decided she needed to protect herself from me.
Even though I tried to make things right and offered to still be there as a friend, the next day when I went to greet her with a hug and kiss as usual—she stepped back.
Silence.
My heart hit the floor. I said goodbye, walked away with tears streaming down my face, and kept my head down so no one would see.
Inside, I was screaming:
“I did nothing to you!”
I was so hurt. But later, I realized something important—I had given her too much power. I cared so deeply that her rejection broke me.
Loving people is beautiful, but it comes with risk. We can’t let someone else’s actions control our peace. Love, yes—but guard your heart while doing it.
I’ve learned that I can’t give anyone the power to drag me down so far that I lose myself in pain. I can love deeply, but I must also protect my joy.
3. Love, Love, Love — and Pay It Forward
The last lesson I learned this week was about love.
While some people may take advantage of your love and hurt you, others desperately need the love you have to give.
My sister has a neighbor raising his grandchild, a teenager who’s had a rough start in life. When my sister mentioned her story, I immediately thought of the people who once loved me through hard times—church brothers and sisters who gave me hope and a sense of belonging.
I decided to pay it forward. I invited her to come with me to the YMCA, to help with my classes—step aerobics and painting. She joined in, laughed, played with my children, and helped in the class. Watching her smile and seeing the joy in her eyes reminded me why love matters so much.
People need love. Even when it’s hard, we have to find a way to keep giving it. Because love truly is what this world needs.
Final Thoughts
“Life is too short to start your day with broken pieces of yesterday. It will definitely destroy your wonderful today and ruin your great tomorrow.”
Life is too short to spend today thinking about yesterday’s disappointments.
Pick yourself up and live for today so that tomorrow can be better.
Life is too short to stay stuck in dead-end friendships—let go of yesterday’s baggage and pack fresh luggage for today’s journey.
Life is too short to work nonstop without joy—stop and smell the roses.
Life is too short.
So, live. Laugh. Love.
Every single day. 💛
— Candace Beckford
Blog #1
It all begins with an idea.
Get Rid of the Bitter, and Life Will Get Better
By Candace Beckford
When my sister and I were young, we used to tease our baby brother, who sucked his finger religiously. Morning, noon, and night—that finger was in his mouth. It got so bad that his finger stunk and developed a thick callus. It was bad!
My grandmother used to threaten to dip his finger in dog poop to make him stop. She never actually did it (thank God), but she wasn’t short on ideas. One day, she reached for a good old Jamaican remedy—a jar of bitter aloes.
And as the name suggests, that stuff was bitter! The taste lingered for days. After just one encounter with that bitterness, my brother’s finger-sucking days were over. That finger became a reminder of what he never wanted to experience again.
We laughed about it then, but as I look back now, there’s an object lesson hidden in that story.
The Taste of Bitterness
Bitterness: sharpness of taste; lack of sweetness; anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; resentment. — Merriam-Webster
Bitterness isn’t just about taste—it’s about state.
Are you bitter?
Are you holding on to something that tears you down mentally, spiritually, physically, or socially? Bitter.
Do you harbor a grudge that stirs anger every time you see that person? Bitter.
Are you stuck in the same place, bound by invisible chains of the past? Bitter.
Are there people who seem to bring out the worst in you? Bitter.
Do you feel constantly cheated out of what’s rightfully yours? Bitter.
Bitterness creeps in quietly but poisons deeply. It clouds the sunshine of joy, extinguishes the fire of purpose, and worms its way into the sweetest moments of life.
Bitterness changes your atmosphere—it affects your relationships, friendships, even your marriage. It drains you dry, leaving only emptiness, loneliness, and sadness behind.
It’s Time to Let It Go
Just as my brother tasted those bitter aloes and made an instant decision to stop sucking his finger, we too must decide to eliminate bitterness from our lives.
Ask yourself:
1. Is there someone you need to forgive?
The hurt might be real—immense, even debilitating—but forgiveness is the door to freedom. Whether or not the other person apologizes is beyond your control. Forgiveness doesn’t excuse what they did—it releases you.
“Holding bitterness and not forgiving is like placing sulfuric acid in a tin can. It will eventually destroy the can from the inside. It does more damage to you than anyone else, including the person originally at fault.”
— Hopeton Thomas
2. Is there a situation you need to walk away from?
Change is hard. Sometimes it feels easier to stay in misery than to step into the unknown. But staying stuck only prolongs your pain.
Think of Lot’s wife in the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. She looked back, unable to let go of a life that no longer served her, and became a pillar of salt—frozen in her past. Her unwillingness to move forward made her stagnant and unable to make an impact.
3. Is there an opportunity waiting for you, but fear and comparison hold you back?
You were created with purpose. Don’t let bitterness and insecurity rob you of what God has called you to do.
There Is Hope Beyond the Bitter
As the song by Jessica Reedy beautifully reminds us:
“I used to be so broken, lost, empty,
A heart with no beat,
A singer with no song to sing.
But in your pain lies a blessing,
A sweeter song of victory.
Life can leave you so bitter, bitter, bitter,
But you must believe—it gets better, better, better.”
Whatever the source of your bitterness—it’s time to let it go.
It can get better. It will get better.
Freedom is only one decision away.
Reflection Corner:
What area of your life has grown “bitter” and lost its sweetness?
Who or what do you need to release to experience peace again?
What would it look like for you to take one bold step toward healing today?
Today, choose to release the bitter—so your life can truly get better.